Tuesday 18th August 2015 –
I might never see it again. The house that is. Not due to any trip caused malaise or self caused misadventure, but because it is about to be sold. My family is moving across the country and it magically coincides with me being away. I’ll probably see it one more time though; when I come back and turn up at the wrong house, obviously.
It’s but one of the many goodbyes of the past few days, or bad byes really. In reality one of the ones of lesser importance, exaggerated as a metaphor for the others. Above it is friends, family, and at the top, the cats (duh!). Who needs to be sad about family when you’ve got these ugly mugs to sniffle for? Crying myself to sleep is not what the past couple of weeks have been dominated by though. That’s the packing.
The lack of ease with which I attempted to pack my life’s belongings into a 48litre bag was ever so slightly exacerbated by the need to be eradicating pretty much anything else I own. In an attempt to ensure the safety of some of my belongings from the warm comforts of the landfill I did my best to put on a show of ruthlessness. “Look mum” I cried. “These jeans that I wear all the time. I’m throwing them. See? See?” They definitely did not have holes in the pockets at all. I also ingeniously passed informal ownership of all my possessions to my brother. It’s a win-win. He gets all my, frankly, awesome stuff while I’m away in exchange for protecting them from “the culling”. Sneaky, right? I’m pretty sure my mum was fooled.
It was an unwelcome distraction though. Notoriously slow to get going I squandered the two weeks I had after leaving my job with laborious abandon. How could I not play a bit of Mario Kart before leaving? Surely watching the Long Way Down could only be educational? How is spending the evening looking at shampoo bars not a good use of my time? I didn’t really need any more to focus on. I blame my brain. Forever against me it has railed, sowing confusion and embarrassing stupidity in its wake. Despite this, I persevered, eventually managing to get everything sorted and the bag packed, just. Doug:1 Brain:0.
With everything hopefully done, fast forwarding to the present day sees me sat on the train to London, still not quite prepared for what the world, or probably even the capital has to throw at me. Nervous, shivery and with a curious wet patch on the front of my pants, I wait to boldly go where only several million men have gone before.